1.
SEX
BEFORE MARRIAGE
One of the things that delays marriage is sex before
marriage, most people fall to this trap. They get into a relationship, before
they could even know their partner they have already start having sex. There is
noting that delays relationship like sex before marriage. If you give to any
person today what is met for tomorrow, he or she may not longer value it. For
instance you get into a university and the school authority decide to give you
a first class while you are still in year one, you may no longer burn night
candles for that studies. So many people might even say “let me go and work
first and latter I will come back and finish my studies” that is what happens
to most relationship that started with sex.
A
lady sent a letter to me recently, saying “I have been with my husband for nine
years and I have two children for him, anytime I tell him to go and pay my
bride price he will come up with different excuses, I don’t have money and
sometime he will act at doe he had forgotten when money comes. And she was
saying; pastor pray for me, what do I do? I told her to ask God for
forgiveness, and pray until he decides to pay your bride price. If not because
of sex before marriage he would have long paid the bride price, even before the
children start coming. Matthew 18
said something, that those things which proceed out of the inside are from the
heart and they are the one that defies a man. Fornication has the ability to
defy your marital destiny, sex before marriage always has an aftermath conciseness, who so ever does far God enough to commit sin with you today,
will not fear God enough to commit auditory against you. Who so ever sins with you, will sin against you. I always tell women
that encourage their husband to commit crime, you can be laughing and driving
around with big cars today, but you must be ready to share your husband with
other women. Cheating is cheating, if your husband could cheat on others to
make money, he will cheat on you to get fun. Don’t let any person say’s “I
cannot resist you, that is why I am sleeping with you”. The same way he cannot
resist you, he is also not resisting another person.
WAYS
TO AVOID SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE
Guide your thought
Avoid environment that brings such feelings
Avoid friends that could lour you into it
Get enough word of God inside of you
Learn to say No
Get busy
Be discipline
2.
MATERIALISM
This is the tendency to consider material position
and physical comfort more important than other values. A lot of men and women
these days, look for material position when thinking of a life partner, radar
than other values that makes life enjoyable, I am not saying comfort or
material comfort is bad but that should not be your main focus, there is noting
that delay marriage as this very factor. There
is no person that is actually poor if they have good values, if they have the
spirit of persistence, if they have diligence, if they have faith, if they have
vision, if they have focus. It only a matter of time, people with this kind
of personality will become successful. Please learn to be patient to turn your
trash to a treasure. There is a lady I know of she was cutting a young
intelligent, God fearing, focused young man, but the only problem was, he was
yet to get a job, and another person showed up that seems to have everything
she needed and because her husband to be at that time didn’t have a job, she
hunted for the one she look at doe he was rich, and till tomorrow she is still
regretting that marriage. And just few months down the line, the guy got a job,
got married thereafter and he is so happy with his marriage. Patient has the ability to turn a trash to
a treasure.
3.
UNFAITHFULNESS
A lot of good relationship that could have lead to a
good marriage died in the bed of unfaithfulness, nothing destroys trust in a
relationship like unfaithfulness. Trust is the pillar that upholds love, when
you have an unfaithful attitude you will destroy your relationship with people
and this will lead to marital delay. In 1st
kings 20:39B; and he brought a man to man and he said keep this
man and in by any mix he be missing, then your life will be for his life or
ease I will pay you a talent. At the end of the scripture, that person was
actually missing. This scripture is talking about focus, you need to put all
your ex in one basket and watch it diligently, double dating is not wisdom but foolishness. Relationship that will
end up in marriage is too important to watch with just one eye, unfaithfulness
can lead to marital delay in your life.
4.
WRONG
ATTITUDE
A lot of people are not married today, because of
wrong or poor behavior, attitude is very important when choosing a life
partner, Christianity is not the
scripture you quote, but the character you display. In other to leave the
leave the single market you must learn the right attitude, the right way of
dealing with issue, the right way of treating others, learn how to control your
anger, learn how to speak with others, stop arguing at everything and
everywhere. Somebody once said a wise man say’s lesser than he knows, but a
foolish person says everything he knows in one meeting. Have a right attitude
to life himself, always believe things will turn out beautiful for you, never
let Satan steal your joy, treat people rightly, never leave anyone the same way
you meet them. Even as a growing child, I have always loved helping people,
when you meet a new relationship, either the relationship will work or not, it
depends on your attitude. The way we behave most times it inherent in us, but
we can make a conscious effort to change any attitude that more than one person
has complained about. Wrong attitude is one reason that delay marital destiny,
you have to carefully deal with it.
5.
LOW
SELF-ESTEEM
This is one of the causes of sex before marriage, a
lot of people are single today, because of what they think of themselves,
because you do not believe in yourself that is why you are always
looking/waiting for others to tell you your worth. If you don’t believe in
yourself, you will be ok in been number two, you will be ok if somebody is
defying you, just by promising you that they want to marry you. Nobody will put value in you except you
learn to put value in yourself. For you to allow a man that is not married
to you to be sleeping with you is lack of self value, if you put value in
yourself, you will not allow people to toss you around, you are not a toy, you
have to put that in you, you have to believe in yourself, you have to believe
in your tomorrow, you have to know you will get married, you don’t have to warm
any persons bed before you get married, you don’t have to stood so low for a married
man that you know he will not marry you, to be sleeping with you because of
money. What you call yourself is what others will call you. Lack of self worth
will draw people away from you, and it will attract wrong people to you and
this could result to delay in marital destiny. You must learn to present
yourself well to people around you, never look down on yourself, tell and
remind yourself you are valuable, you maker said you are a peculiar person, you
are a royal priest hood, you have royalty running in your blood from today
begin to see yourself as a princess and a prince. Sleeping with any man that is
not your husband, shows how low you see yourself. Its forbidden, it’s a taboo,
to see a kings nakedness or a queens nakedness. As from today see yourself as a
queen and a king that can not been seen necked by anyone except their spouse
How
to develop yourself esteem
· Discover your purpose on earth:
there is nothing that boost your self esteem like having a sense of vision on
earth, like having a sense of purpose on earth, it makes you to feel special
· Believe in yourself:
never say to yourself what can I archive in life
· See yourself the way God sees you:
the word of God say’s you are Gods, he says you are a royal priest hold, he
say’s you are peculiar, begin to meditate on this words until they become part
of you
· Load yourself with enough word of
God:
· Always remind yourself that there
is something in you that is not in any other person in this world:
you are the only brand of yourself and that should make you feel special, even
if a man had the access to all the women in the world, and even if a woman had
access to all the men in the world, he or she have not had access to you. You
are special, you are peculiar, you are different, your brand is the only you
God have created and it’s the only one He will ever create. That should make
you feel special
6.
INPATIENT:
Inpatient can lead to marital delay. You need to
patiently wait to discover a treasure in any person. Inpatient is another
factor why people marry the wrong spouse. Patient is very important to unwrap
and discover a treasure in a trash, you are not to look out for already made
wife or husband. You are to work with your wife or husband to make life. This
is the deception of Satan over a lot of people, they feel they should be rich
and successful before getting married and because they have delay in marriage
and this is one of the reason that leads to sex before marriage, because as a
human it gets to a point you start having feelings for the opposite sex. Early
marriage will discourage sex before marriage. Geneses 2:15-22; God created
man and put him in the garden of Eden and he gave him commandment concerning
what to eat, He gave him an assignment and immediately he brought him a wife to
help with the assignment, it’s a man and his wife that will work together,
bring intelligent together, bring forces together and become successful
together. You are not to make all the money and make all the mark on earth
before getting married. You can marry a man or a woman that is really not rich
today or even working, that is to say they will be jobless forever. You need to
patiently wait and bring out something good out of nothing. Inpatient is the
reason why a lot of people are looking for already made spouse, and that have
delayed their marital destiny. A woman
is like an incubator, you have to take what a man have and add life to it. A
woman is an enhancer, you have to enhance the value in your man and add colors
to his life. A woman is a manager, you have to manage your husband into
productivity, manage his potentials and bring out the best in him. If you marry
a person that have all you want, who would you become to him? So look for
someone you will team up together to become successful not an already made. Looking
for an already made will delay your marital destiny.
7.
I
AM NOT READY KIND OF LIFESTYLE
I am not yet ready, is why a lot of people are not
yet married today. Most older women while growing up, they where lot of men on
their case, but they were not ready, now it’s a serious prayer point. They thought
they still had time, before they knew it, time had gone. I am not ready kind of
lifestyle is one of the cause of self impose marital delay.