Thought are the most
powerful force on earth, anything you can see now was first a thought before it
became a reality. Marriage was first a thought in God’s heart before it became
the most powerful institution that gave birth to human race, and the only institution
depended on to raise a successful and godly generation. Genesis 2:18 says; “then
the Lord God said, it is not good that a man should be alone, I will make him a
helper fit for him. This was a thought and a discussion, within and among the trinity,
nothing becomes real until it is thought on, we are product of thought. You
where once a thought in God’s heart and your tomorrow is still a thought in his
heart. God thinks of you and those though are positive thought, he never thinks
of your short comments, your life follow after your thought, so also is your
relationship with other. Your relationship can never be better than you think
of it. Your life can never be better than you think of it to become, nobody
will ever help you to put value in yourself, or take you to be more valuable
than you think you are, the more negative thought you have towards your life,
the more of a negative direction your life will go, the more negative thought
you think towards your spouse, the more negative they will become. You have to
learn to think well of your spouse, if you want to see the best of them. I will
be asking you a question today; “in your thought life what name does your
spouse bears?” that is what they will ever become, if you think of them to be
stupid that is all they will ever become. Any name they bear in your hear, is
the name they will every become. This is practical and its true, what you think
of any person determines how you relate with them, and how you relate with any
person determine how they will relate back to you. For instance, any person you think to be very civilized,
when you are around those people, you behave very civilized, and anytime you
are together you keep a civilized attitude, that is exactly what thought
does to every relationship. The reason some people get into relationship, and
they end up wrongly it is not because the other person it at fault, it’s
because of their thought and their actions. You have to learn to think of your
spouse in the light of what you want them to become. If you can think of your
spouse and behave to them, in the light of what they will become, you will have
an excellent relationship. If your relationship must become better, you have to
first change your thinking pattern, that will help you to change your
character, and a good character is what sustain every good relationship. There
is nothing I can tell you today that will help you to change your character, if
you don’t change your thought. Everything that you will ever become is as a
result of the way you think. For anybody to be grateful for instance they have
to be thoughtful and for your relationship to be successful, you have to think
of your relationship in the light of what you want them to become. If every man
and every woman will treat their spouse in the light of what they will become
in the future, divorce will become an outdated word. That is what God does to
us, God will see a man in a beer parlor today, but he will not treat him
because of where he is today, because of what He had imagined him to be. He
will be in a beer parlor doing everything wrong, but God will be protecting him
know that he will serve Him in the future.
I was talking to a lady recently who called me from one of
the Africa countries, she was like “do you mean I should stay in my marriage no
matter what is happening?” I told her it is the imagination of the finish product
that gives every goldsmith the energy to go through the process of refining
gold, your husband is work in progress, where he is right now is not where he
will die in, you have to learn to think of your husband as a finish product.
When you look at that finish product, who you want him to become than he will
give you the energy to go through the process of today.
God never give to any man a finish product, he gives you a
raw material, your marriage maybe in a raw state right now, you need your
thought, you need your prayers, you need your patient, you need your faith, to
refine that marriage to become admirable. But first you have to think of your
marriage in the light you want it to become, so from today start treating your
spouse as doe they are already in your future. If you can do that long enough,
you will find out that gradually, your spouse will start conforming to the
image in your heart and in your spirit.
We give up too soon, we are in a generation that gives up
too soon, it is not just about you and your spouse, it is more than that, you
have to be a father, or tomorrow a grandfather that your generation will look
back on and say my father was never divorced, so therefore I will not be divorced.
You must be determined to become a reference point, you must be a mother that
your great grand children will look back to and say my grandmother was a wonderful
woman. There is no devious in my generation so I will not be divorced. It is
beyond you and your spouse, if you give up too soon in that marriage today, you
have left in your generation a familiar spirit. Devious will become to your
children a familiar spirit, and trust Satan, he will come again to your
daughter, he will come again to your son and fight them to finish. Then if you
could not stand him and withhold him today and say no to that, who tells you
that your son or daughter can also stand and say no. it will be very unfair
that what you can deal with today, you are leaving it for the next generation
to fight.
Today we can read the scripture and we see men like Noah
that was given a vision, doe hundreds of years pass by and it look like nothing
was happening, but he kept to that vision, until he saw what God told him. We
should learn to be a generation that will be a reference point, you may not be
the president of the world, but be a hero to your children. The success you
want in your marriage will first of all start in your heart. You have to change
the thought in your heart, you have to change the way you think of your wife,
you have to change the way you think of your husband, they may be in a state
you don’t like right now, but that is not all they have, they are a treasure
raped up in a trash. You have to be patient, you have to be like that miller
and that goldsmith that look at the finish product, and get derived because of
what he sees in the future. It is very easy to destroy, it is very easy to quit
your marriage, it may be tougher to build, but buildings do look beautiful when
they are finished. The reason God can still relate to use in spite of our shot
falls is because he does not deals with us base on where we are right now or
where we have been, but because He think of us in light of who we will become.
When you start thinking of your spouse, and treating him in the light of who he
will become, your marriage or relationship will become an envy of all. This
kind of thinking pattern will settle a lot of people in their God ordained
home. A lot of women and a lot men have missed their true partners because they
where only a treasure rapped in a trash. They were not patient enough to refine
their treasure, they were not patient enough to use patient to remove the trash
and discover the treasure, and you have to learn to be patient. One the reason
for delayed marriage is the inability to manage people, and managing people is
largely dependent on the way you pensive life. If you think wrongly you will
behave wrongly. That is why the bible advices us to guide our heart with all diligent
because out of it are the issues of life. The strongest pollution of marriage
is form in the heart and it gives expression through the mouth. The initiation
of marriage is form in the heart and separation and devious is also sin. You
have to learn to think right of your spouse, in other to act right to them. The
reason people do not give their best of character, commitment, sacrifices into
their relationship anymore is because they are not confident that the
relationship will work, and that kind of thinking pattern will definitely end
every relationship. Because if you think it will work, it will work, if you are
doubtful it will not work. A lot of relationship fails because people enter
with the mentality “I hope it will work”. Not it will work because they see it
working, if only you can think of your spouse’s in the light of Ephesians 4:8
you will have a marriage made in heaven. Ephesians 4:8 says “Finally my
brothers, what so ever is true, what so ever is honorable, what so ever is
just, what so ever is pure, what so ever is lovely, what so ever is commendable,
if there is any excellence, did you hear that? If there is anything wordy of
praise, think of these things. So your job is to be looking at any excellence
that is in your spouse’s and meditate on it. When you can do that, you can
subdue the negative side of him. And the scripture continues and it says, “Whatever
you have received, heard or see in me, practice these things and the God of
peace will be with you. There is one character that God has, and he told us
about it, that he never thinks of our negative side. He says I know the thought
I have towards you, they are thought of peace not of evil, to give you hope and
a future. The only way God and his peace can be in your marriage and in your
life, is when you start learning to think like those things, think positive of
your spouse’s. Verse nine lay emphases, it say what so ever you have heard of
me practice these things. If you can think of your spouse’s like God thinks of
you, your marriage will be the one that is made in heaven. God was able to win
us back to Himself because He thought well of us. If you want to be always
loved by your spouse and help him to love you in return, keep thinking right of
him or her people will always make mistakes, never forget that, but you have to
learn to be to your spouse’s, what God is to you. Until you are able to do that
you are not qualified for the peace that God brings. God always push always our
wrong from his heart and always forgive all our wrongs, which are the only
secret of a successful relationship. I will always say, marriage is the coming
together of two givers and two forgivers. If you are not a person that is
always willing to let go of wrong, you are not a candidate of marriage. The
first thing to learn when you are thinking of getting married, is to learn how
to dust of offense, because your spouse will wrong you more than any person in
the world, you have to always be willing to let go. Just the same way God
always let go of your wrong. Remember marriage is an institution made after God
hundred percent of His person is within a man and a woman, so you cannot be
successful in marriage without learning one of the qualities of God that is
around Him, that is the quality of forgiveness. You can’t know God without know
that character of forgiveness in Him. Until you are ready to practice that in
your marriage, you are not ready for a successful marriage life.
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