BE FLEXIBLE:
Flexibility is the mother of
friendship, what we mean by been flexible means the ability to adjust and adapt
to situation easily. Not to be rigid not to be stiff, there are lot of people
who are stiff and rigid (this is the way I want it done and that’s the way) and
a lot of people will always want to be far from you. As I have said
“flexibility is the mother of friendship” and friendship is the foundation for
any relationship. Nobody will marry you if he or she has not succeed of been
your friend, and you can only win a friend only when you are flexible yourself.
When you are too rigid you make yourself enemy quickly. Any person in an office
environment that is always too rigid a want his way at all time, all succeed in
earning him or herself an enemy. You have to learn to let of something at times.
I am not saying violate your Christian value, but there are lot of thing you
can actuary let go, so flexibility sometimes to discomforting yourself to please
or win other people. That was why Paul in the bible said “I became Jew to win
the Jew.” It is difficult to see a rigid person having a fruitful relationship.
For you to win people you need to be
flexible, even in your choice of partner; he must be tall, he must be a banker,
he must dress well, he must be this, he must be that. At times even if your
desire was a tall guy and you now meet a short guy you should be able to use
others of his qualities to amend what he those not have. You want a short black
guy, and now you are seeing a short black person that is caring, God fearing,
that means he has other qualities that can cover up for the tallness. Don’t be
rigid that he must be tall. The in all your life you keep meeting people that
is short; it means that maybe you are destined to marry a short person.
Even as a leader of the home as a man,
you have to be flexible, we know you are the head of the house, but at times
give your wife a chance to make decisions. “It will not happen I am the man of
the house” should stop. You wife have an opinion, listen again to the opinion,
think over it, it could just be the best one, don’t be rigid when you are
making a decision for your home. I tell people, two things happen to men that
don’t listen to their wives, it is either they die poor or they die early.
Flexibly makes you have friends all
around the world, it makes you have crowed. Two men I can tell you have the
spirit of flexibility and they are almost controlling the world. Pastor Late Kenneth
Hagin was a flexible person, He will preach in Catholic Church, he will preach
in Baptist church, he was not stiff in his daughtry as a pastor, and he knows
who he is. He was not saying this is the wrong one, and this was not the wrong
one, because of that he was able to influence the whole of America, Asia he
influenced almost all churches and even influenced Africa. He also has a
spiritual son Pastor E.A Adeboye who was able to also adopt that sprit of flexibility,
He is a father to almost all the churches in Africa and beyond, just because he
is flexible. He does not chase away people, when you come to him he accepts
you.
If you are flexible you will be able
to win friends more than you think, so flexibility will win you husband before
you know it.
BE SLOW TO ANGER
The bible made us to understand in Proverb
14:17 it says he that he that is soon angry and quick to anger deals foolishly,
if you are soon and quick to anger you always deal foolishly and you know
nobody wants foolish people around them, nobody wants to choose a foolish man
as a friend. Proverb 14:29 says; He that is slow to anger is of good
understanding, and Proverb 16:32 says he that is slow to anger is better than
the mighty, and greater than he that rules a city, because there is a treasure
that comes from you been slow to anger. So to be slow to anger is a key, a
strong key to win people around you. As a human it is not everything that
someone says that you respond to, not because you don’t know your right but
because you don’t just want to respond. So we need to be slow to anger if we
must win people around us.
BUILD A GOOD CHARACTER
Character is a person personality plus
the influence of the environment, so it is not only your personality that makes
a character, but also with the things around you. Your character can also be
influence with things and friends, what you hear can also influence you, so for
you to win people around you, you must build a character. The bible made us to
understand in Proverb 14:20 the bible made us to understand that “the poor is
hated by his own neighbor” that poor doesn't mean he is poor only in material
substance, he can be poor in character, he can be poor in anything, so when you
see that poverty don’t just think it is poverty in material substance. People
are poor in character, so when you are poor in character you are hated by your
own neighbor. So when you are a poor person in character, you have the
inability to communicate properly, and in your personality you become hated by
people around you and when you are hated by people around you, nobody will want
to accept you. “I have seen people that got married by recommendation.” What do
people in your environment say about you? What if someone had to be picked in
your area would you be picked? Who are
you? What kind of character do you display? You have to learn to develop a
proper character. Intelligent can take
you to an extend but character is what sustain anything, there are people
that use intelligent to get a work but character make them to be displeased,
character is what really defines you. Your attitude is what defines your
personality, it is what defines the height you will go in life so you need to
learn how to develop a proper character if you must go forward in life. The
reason maybe you have not found somebody to marry you, may just be because of
character.
The reason you see ugly people getting
married is because they have good character and good heart, you see a cripple
getting married to a person with two legs because of character. Don’t think it
beauty, beauty only makes you attractive. You must build a character if you
must be chosen by people.
DON’T BE OVER RIGHTEOUS
A lot of people have loose spouses
because of self righteousness, over righteousness, they know more, only Jesus
is their only elder brother not another person’s brother, people will just get
tired of you. You will be thinking you are evangelizing mean while you are
losing friends. You sit down with people and the only issue you talk about is
Jesus. What about issues that have to do with life? There are some girls that
men have gotten tired of because they are over righteous. “This is a sin, this
is this, this is that.” Jesus died for everybody, he did not die for you alone.
It is not what you say that make you righteous, it is the character you
display, your personality, how you relate with people, that’s what makes you a Christian.
Not by words, not by appearance that makes you righteous. Learn to talk other
issues, not only church, church, church matters, it can piss people off.
BE FRIENDLY
You have to learn to be friendly, the
bible made us to understand in Proverb, it says he that wants must first show
himself friendly. You must first introduce the friendship for somebody to buy
it, you must develop a friendship attitude, if you must be friends with people.
As I have said before, if a child of God respond the way an unbeliever responds
to issues then what makes you a child of God? If someone offends you, the way a
market woman will dance you will dance the same way then what’s the difference.
You must be friendly even if the environment does not allow it, create it. There
also be people offending you but sometimes let go, and show friendship.
MAKE GOOD FRIENDS
When you have good friends, you will
learn how to develop good attitude. Do you know people who have rude friends
area always rude people? You will want to make you feel like you are a fool. “Show
them you are capable” over time you begin to behave like the bad people, but
when you make good friends, you become good. I have seen men when they are in companies
of others, they will want to act like they cheat on their wife, when they don’t,
because they know everyone cheats on their wives. But they can also be another
group of companies and they don’t even think of cheating on their wife, because
they are in a right environment. The friends you choose determine who you will
become, so learn to choose your friend, choose good friend the bible says a
wise man choose his own friend. Don’t let people choose you and before you know
you start rolling with them, sit down to choose and select your friends, to
become a better person