FAITH
Faith is the ability to concise yourself that something
positive will happen in the future, even if there is nothing or present clue
that it will happen, and every marriage that end up in the rust is as a result
of lake of faith. They stop believing they stop hoping, that any change will
happen in the future, so that is why they end up in devious. Faith is very
important if you want to keep your marriage to the end. The bible tells us what
faith is, it says “faith is the substance hoped for, evidence of things not yet
seen” by this elders obtain good report. Through faith we understand that the
world was formed by the word of God, which are seen and make out of things not
seen, in my own word, it is what you hold in what you believe God for. The
bible said without faith it’s impossible to please God, for he that cometh to
God must believe that he is the rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. If
you want to please God then faith is important because without it you cannot
please Him. Hebrews 10:38 says “now the just shall live by faith” so God never
told us to live with what we see, but by faith. Everything we do is by faith.
Marriage is by faith, because when you got married at the first place, you
never saw the future, you only believed that it will be well, then if you enter
marriage by faith then you should sustain marriage by faith, it’s not until you
see before you believe. When you got into marriage you never saw the next year,
but you had believe that things were going to work out, that is faith, then if
you enter by faith then you can only sustain it by faith. You don’t see before
you believe, you believe before you see, the world will tell you “seen is
believing” but God says believing is seeing. Faith made God to be pleased with
you and also open heavens for you. When you see people who constantly complain
about their spouses, they always have closed heavens, they are always
complaining, there is nothing their spouses does that pleases them. If we have
been able to establish that faith pleases God, then how does faith please you spouses?
When you have faith it helps you to overlook your spouse
behavior or wrong doings. You are no longer looking at what he or she is doing
but looking at what they will become. In other words you will no longer respond
to them on how they are today but what you see them to be in the future,
automatically you become like Jesus to man, who said while they were yet in sin
I loved them, He did not see you to be righteous before He loved you, in spite
of all the things you were doing which was wrong, but he was loving you in sin,
and that exactly what faith does. Whenever you stop complaining about any
person you will notice that they start coming close to you. Complains drives
people away, you think you are trying to make them do well but because you are
complaining they will go far from you. When God was thinking about marriage He
was thinking about companionship not complainers. And when you have faith it
makes you put all into your marriage, many are married today but they are not
putting all into their marriage because their heart is divided. One part of
their heart will be maybe this will work out or maybe it will end up in devious
so why should I put in all, and because they are not using their all, the
marriage will definitely fail. But when you have faith, you are so sure, there
is something that tells you “tomorrow will be greater than today” so because of
that you are able to invest everything, and because you are investing
everything the other person cannot exitate to reciprocate back. It is the law
of nature “when you give you receive,” in marriage people makes the mistake of
thinking of their spouses to start giving, instead of them to start giving and
over time their spouses reciprocate back to them.
Treat them better, faith they said is the substance of
things hoped for and evidence of things not yet seen, so it means the attitude
you did not get from them is in your hand. When you have faith you will know
how to treat your spouse better, and with time your spouse starts responding
back to you all you have put into that relationship. So if you have spouse that
drinks to stupor right now, you don’t longer see them as drunker, with the eyes
of faith you are seeing them of what they will become, not the drunker you see
today. If you having a cheating spouse instead of you to be yelling at him or
her, not that you will not feel pain or get hurt but because of the faith you
have you will know this will temporary and it will end one day. And because of
that faith you are able to accommodate what he does and responds to him in a
better way, than if you don’t have.
RESPECT
No relationship can survive or be successful without mutual
respect, no relationship, either business relationship, sexual relationship any
relationship can survive without mutual respect for one another. You know your
spouse’s witness does not give you the room to start disrespecting them. Know
that the reason you get to know about the witness was trust, he trust you that
was why he allowed you to see his inner witness, for you to be disregarding
them is wrong. If he does not allow you in there would have been no way you
could. Do you know there are lots of things you know about your spouse that
nobody knows? Because they are not close to those people. Whatever you know
about your spouse is because he or she has given you the privilege to know
those things, so it will very wrong to start disregarding them because of what
you know. Romans 12:10 says love one another with brotherly affection and do
one another by doing honor, just imagine if what you think of everyday is to
outdo your spouse in honoring them, imagine the kind of marriage you will have?
I want every woman to know this, “you
can’t lose a man you respect.” Marriage is a test for humility for all
women, God want to test you and see how humble you are as a woman. God has put
so many things in you especially women who are extra ordinarily gifted, you are
intelligent, gifted, the world celebrates you, He puts you in marriage as a
test for you, to see wither because of the qualities and gift He has given to
you if you will become arrogant at home. Everything you have God made you to
have them, to start looking down on your man because he does not have those
things, it is wrong before the sight of the Lord. He gave you those things so
you can use them to help him, no to begin to start looking at him as, he is so
lazy, he is so this, he is so that. Two people where referred to in the bible
as a helper, the Holy Spirit and woman, you were given those qualities to be
able to help the man up. Women have a lot of responsibilities, you can’t just
leave him alone because he makes mistakes.
For men the best thing to do to bring the best out of your
wife is to see that she is honored as well. It’s not one angle. This is a key
to every man who wants to be successful, “likewise husband live with your wife
in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as a weaker vessel……..so
that your prayers may not be hindered.” So when you don’t honor your wife your
prayers become hindered. Show her honor
to bring out the best in her and your heavens will be open. A lot
of people are going through financial straggle not knowing it’s because of the
way they are treating each other. Their heavens are closed, not know
why. I want you to know respect is contagious, when you show me respect, I show
it back to you, if you show respect, you see respect, that’s how it works.
USE
OF YOUR TONGUE
If everyone can use their tongue the exact manual God
purpose it, we will win friends, we will stay healthy, we will become worthy
and we will be victorious in every aspect of our life if we can use our tongue
the way God purpose us to use it. We are exactly the way God is, whether we
believe it or not, things works in our hands the way it works in the hands of
God. The life we are living today is as a result of what we spoke yesterday,
spoken words go to your future and stay there, and that was exact how God
created the world what he saw was as a result of what He spoke. Words sometimes
cannot be reversed, the only way you can manage to reverse what you have spoken
is to use a higher word to counter what you have spoken, I want you to know
this today, any word you speak using the name of Jesus becomes a higher authority
over the previous, now there is hope, because I have not seen someone who has said
I will divorce you in the name of Jesus, because people did not use the higher
word then there is hope, cos we can reverse our word saying, in the name of
Jesus I am not going to be divorce. It’s only the ones who has said I will divorce
you in Jesus name that cannot be reversed. So if you have been tearing your
home down with your tongue you can reverse it with the higher power which is
the name of Jesus. When most of us are angry we say things that we are not supposed
to say. Learn to start speaking positive words using the higher authority. When
God said in Genesis 3:19, He was causing man because He was angry, He said by
the sweat of your faith you shall eat bread till you return to the ground for
out of the ground you were taken, for dust you are and dust you shall return. So
we have to be careful of what we say when we are angry. If we can understand
this word which is the Latin word which God speaks and believe in it and work
with it then it rules over the other. A strong application of faith and persistence
is very important when we have torn our marriage down with our words, we have
to re-consciously rebuild it with our own word. From today be careful of what
you say, start deliberately saying great things into your future.
IMAGINATION
Finally what so ever is
true, what so ever is honorable, what so ever is just, what so ever is pure,
what so ever is lovely, what so ever is commendable, if there is any excellence,
if there is anything wordy of praise think of these things. Imagine you are thinking
of your spouse base on the truth, not based on what they do, remember the word
of God is the truth, remember it is what the word of God things of him you should
be calling him. Imagine the only thing you think about your spouse is an
honorable thought, things that are just, things that are lovely, because you
constantly build him up in your spirit and in your mind, he will be builded up
before you. Except from your marriage imagination is applicable to every aspect
of life, you may be broke now, but start thing of yourself wealthy.
PRAYERS
No marriage can actually survive without prayers, there are
somethings that physically you can just handle it, no life can succeed without
prayers. We all need supernatural help, we all came from the supernatural, any
person that does not believe that there is God is a stupid person, and the
bible said “it’s only a fool that does not know there is God.” No one can live without
prayers, 1st John 5:14-15 says this is the confidence we have
towards Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us, that’s
prayers. He says if we ask according to His will, marriage is the will of God. 1st
Cornicles 16:11 says seek the lord and its straight, seek his presences continuously.
There is no ceremony about prayer, you can pray anywhere and anytime.
FORGIVENESS
AND SEX
Most marriage does not longer enjoy passion intimacy
because of unforgiveness. What they do is fulfill marital obligation, but its
two different things, they just do it because they want to fulfill marital obligation,
but that’s what it’s not supposed to be. God want you to enjoy passionate love
making, not only He brought intimacy in marriage, it’s also an access to answer
prayers.
How
do you know you have left one for the other?
Ø If
your goal of sexual intimacy is orgasm, you are no longer having a healthy
sexual life. The goal should be you bond, you spend time together, it’s not just
that last act that you are looking at.
Ø If
you are no longer spending time kissing. Do you know anyone can sleep with
anybody, that’s why people can sleep with prostitute? The difference that tells
that you are sleeping with your spouse is spending time to kiss them, play,
speak words to each other, tell them how much you love them and feel them
afresh. That’s what sexual intimacy is supposed to do, but if you are no longer
doing that it means you have reduced your marriage to the wrong actions of your
spouse, then you are no longer enjoying sexual intimacy.
It
will surprise you that some spouses don’t have sex in months, some don’t at
all. How can a couple say they have not had sex in two year, which means you don’t
have marriage any more. Sex is marriage, your spouse is not a prayer partner.
God did not bring you people together to be praying, that’s not just the only
reason, your relationship can pray, yes but that’s not the only reason, sex
itself is prayer. God created your organs for the purpose of that, so anytime
you use it you are giving worship to God. We have to learn to put aside what
our spouse had done in the past and still doing so you can be able to relate
with them. Note secrecy is what Satan likes cos it helps you to commit sin, if
you know that she knows, tell the truth, when you tell the truth it is giving
her assurance that you will not go back to that sin. Let her know, don’t let
her suspect. Let’s stop defying the marriage bed, it is so wrong, it’s for
husband and wife alone. There is nothing that can bring bond in marriage than passionate
sexual intimacy.
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