Most
problems in marriage start with the molding of a person’s character. What they
see and hear and the environment they grow up in has a lot to do with who they
eventually become. Marriages are crashing daily because of what this generation
is exposed to from a very tender age. The traditional marriage setting like we
know and grew up in has become folklore. Men are challenging the women in the
area of housekeeping and minding the children, the women are taking over the
role of breadwinners and doing it exceptionally well. The usual family
structure has been replaced with a system of survival of the fittest. The power
struggle in the family usually starts immediately after “I do” and goes on
until the couple either learns to accommodate each other or become consumed by
the struggle for gender supremacy.
Men
have come to represent a ticket to the good life, they are evaluated by how
much they can provide, divided sharply by those who are overtly generous and
the stingy ones, the haves and have not’s. The former in both instances
receives more attention from the women regardless of the sometimes very obvious
and glaring character flaws. I remember a couple of decades ago when parents
refused multimillionaires seeking their daughters hand in marriage on grounds
of unsavory behavior and unverifiable sources of income, they often opted for
the more stable, well behaved average man from a well-known background. Those
days the inquiries in-laws make concerning their daughters’ suitors bothered on
behavior and family background rather than how much money the man is worth,
women are encouraged to marry average man with whom they can build a life
together. Those days are gone, all you have to do now is make some money and
you can get away with almost anything in marriage.
In this new order, woman are viewed primarily as sex and entertainment objects, designed to fulfilled the craziest fantasies of men who can afford them; intellect and manners have been sacrificed at the altar of vanity, waywardness and moral bankruptcy. Women are wearing less and just as the clothes are being shed, intellect, responsibility and good manners have disappeared with it. The due diligence men used to perform before marriage no longer exists; they are more concerned these days with her outward appearance and psychedelic lifestyle, her following on social media and her social circle. Marriages have become more about the social media hype than what the ceremony actually stands for. Too much emphasis is placed on the wedding ceremony leaving the marriage itself with little or no attention. Once the fanfare of the wedding begins to wane, so does the couples unpreparedness and commitment to the union, boredom sets in and the couple strays in different directions in search of more money or more entertainment as the case may be.
Marriage
is a lifelong commitment and requires a lot of planning before one embarks on
the journey, it is not a temporary relieve for lack of money or sexual urge.
There are so many considerations which must be carefully examined before one
finally settles for a life partner. Can you still love and respect the man
without the wealth or power he currently possesses, will you be proud to show
him off without the designer clothes, shoes and watches, does he make you
happy, does he make you laugh, is he there when you need him? Does he accept
you with your flaws and will he let you thrive and grow without feeling
threatened. Do you love and cherish her; will you still love and cherish her
when the rigors of childbirth and age take its toll on her? Do you feel
responsible for her, can you talk to her about almost anything, can you do
without trying to change her by force, do you feel comfortable and relaxed in
her company, do you laugh and play together? These are just a few of the many
things to consider in choosing a partner. Money and power are transient and can
disappear anytime, beauty and a sexy figure will fade with time, what remains
when these are gone is the real consideration. Choose wisely.