Skip to main content

THINGS YOUR WIFE NEEDS FROM YOU


Women are unique and so are their needs. What you need most from your wife is not necessarily what she needs most from you. Consequently, if you express love to your wife in the way you want to receive love, her deepest needs will go unmet and you will experience frustration because it will feel like she’s not appreciative of what you’re giving. Her needs are different from yours, so your expressions of love need to be tailored to her desires, not your preferences. If someone asks you for an umbrella to shield them from the rain and you give them sunglasses because you like sunglasses, regardless of how beautiful the sunglasses are, they will go unappreciated because you have not met the stated need. So it is with your wife’s needs. One of the best investments you can make in your marriage is to study your wife and understand what makes her thrive. 1 Peter 3:7 puts it this way, ‘Husbands, in the same way live with your wives knowledgeably’. Understanding your wife’s needs and making it a priority to meet them will pay tremendous dividends in your relationship.
Below are the top five needs that every wife has:

1. She needs your sacrificial love
One of the biggest needs a wife has is security which comes from being loved by a sacrificial husband. This is a God-given need that draws your wife to you constantly. Your wife needs to know that, after God, she comes first in your heart and life. Anything that competes with her as a priority in your life – work, friends, hobbies – will be perceived as a threat and will lead to her feeling insecure in your love. This is why the Bible likens loving your wife to laying down your life for her. No woman can resist a man who loves her sacrificially and puts her wellbeing before his, like Christ did. There should be no doubt in your wife’s mind that you love her completely, absolutely and permanently. Tell your wife very often how much you love her and then demonstrate your love by the way you treat her. If your wife has to ask you whether you love her, there is probably something threatening her sense of security and the way to overcome that is by expressing love to her in a way she understands. What has your wife asked of you over the years? Your time, undivided attention every now and then, a listening ear, words of love, help when she’s feeling overwhelmed – whatever spells love to her should be a top priority for you. Sacrificial love is just that – sacrificial. It means you go above and beyond – like Jesus did – to be a blessing to your wife. It will sometimes cost you your comfort, energy, creativity and initiative but you will be rewarded with a content and secure wife.

2. She longs for open and honest communication
Women connect by talking and sharing their hearts. Your wife wants to be able to connect with you on a deep intimate level, to understand your thoughts and feelings, and to share life with you on every level. Communication is what connects your wife to your world. When you talk to your wife, she feels close to your heart and intimacy grows in your marriage. When you shut your wife out by withholding open and honest communication, intimacy is lost and she begins to feel more like a stranger than your best friend. It is an open secret that women are frequently more verbal than their husbands and men can sometimes feel overwhelmed by their wives’ insatiable need for discussion. However, it is a wise husband that recognizes that talking and sharing meets a very deep need in his wife’s life for emotional connection and commits to meeting that need. The more you talk to your wife, the more valuable she feels. She sees herself as your ally and is secure in the knowledge that you value her opinion.

3. Be caring and affectionate
Ephesians 5:29 encourages husbands to ‘nourish and cherish’ their wives. The word ‘nourish’ means ‘to feed to maturity’. Your wife comes alive when you care about her spiritual, mental, emotional and physical wellbeing and you create an atmosphere where she can be her best. It is your calling as a husband to help your wife become all that God made her to be by believing in her and supporting her God-given dreams. Find out what matters to your wife; care about what she cares about. Help her bring out her God-given potentials. Don’t be her dream-breaker; be her dream-maker. Cherishing your wife means you place a high value on her as a person. This is evident in the way you talk to her and talk about her. Women thrive in an atmosphere of caring and expressed affection. What can you do daily to show your wife that you care for her? Sometimes, it might be something as simple as holding her hand or giving her a hug for no particular reason. Some men never touch their wives unless there is sex involved and they wonder why she is unresponsive. Women crave for physical affection but for most women that does not immediately translate into sex. Frequent, non-sexual touch tells your wife that you care for her as a person, without any agenda, and it makes her feel closer to you and therefore more interested in sexual intimacy.

4. Show her your appreciation
Women tend to be very sacrificial. They work very hard to keep the household running smoothly and everyone fed and clothed; they bear much of the responsibility of caring for children and often hold a job outside the home in addition. They are experts at juggling many balls at the same time and making it look easy. This means that an unobservant husband can easily take for granted all that his wife does daily. Tell your wife frequently how much you appreciate everything she does for you and your children. Notice the changes she makes from time to time to make things better at home. When she makes a nice meal, don’t just wolf it down in silence. Compliment her frequently. Model appreciation for your children and teach them to be thankful for Mum. Also, keep an eye open for when your wife is feeling overwhelmed and needs your help. Women often need help but they would much rather it was offered willingly than having to ask for it. Don’t allow your wife to get overloaded with the responsibilities of life. Lighten her load with your appreciation and by being an active contributor in the running of the home.

5. Be a loving leader
Women don’t want to be dominated but they do want their husbands to take the initiative in establishing a vision for the home. Women are wired to help and even before God made Eve, He described her as a helper. Women are enablers; they make things happen. Your wife wants to come alongside you and fulfill a family vision but it must be clear what that vision is. She wants you to take the lead in the home spiritually, she needs you to lead in ensuring the wellbeing of your relationship, she wants to see that you have a financial plan, and she wants you to be proactive in raising your children. Don’t be a leader at work and passive at home. Leadership begins at home. Lead like Jesus did; He was firm in His convictions but empathetic to the needs of those He was leading.

Labels:

Dont Forget To Read

YOU MUST HAVE YOUR OWN FENCE TOO

When I was in secondary school, my school did not have a fence round the school apart from the one built in front for the gateman, others areas like the backside and the rest were left open. At that time, it was difficult to restrain the students from going out of the school compound. After the morning assembly, many students would walk out of the school compound, some would go back home, some would go to their friends house, some would go to play, some would come into the school through bush track etc. Many crimes were recorded & reported in our school then. The situation really got out of hand. To curb all these situations, our principal then (Mr Ekefre) did something! We got to the school one day & found out that, they have used white canvas like paint to draw a line round the school compound. On getting to the assembly ground, the principal came to address us and said, ' We now have a fence in this school. That white line you see is the school fence for now! Once y...
Read more

I CAME WITH CONDOM. DON'T WORRY YOURSELF

You see that statement up there? Let me tell you about it. This Brother was one of the Coordinators in their fellowship. He was close to this sister and the sister too likes him just as brother in the fellowship, fervent and strong in the works of the Lord. One day, the brother visited the sister and at a time, the lady was serving the brother a soft drink when the brother grabbed her from the back and started hopping at her. The lady was taken aback as she never imagined such from the brother. The brother started forcing himself on the lady. She pleaded with him to stop the foolishness and reminded him of his position as a child of God and as a Coordinators in the fellowship. All her pleads fell on a deaf ears. She struggled to run out of the room, but the guy prevented her. At a point, she thought of a way out. She told the brother that, she will agree to have sex with him but he should go the nearby chemist shop and get a condom so she will not be at the risk of pregnancy. She said ...
Read more

WHY WOMEN CHEAT IN MARRIAGE

  It is humane enough to give into temptations; emotions can be wild and desires like an untamed child. They can make you put all logic, rationale and ethics into the back burner. It takes a lot of effort and not to mention. one has to endure a different kind of pain altogether when one decides to side with morality. It is the pain of never knowing how the forbidden fruit would taste. Whatever it is, infidelity or loyalty is a personal choice. But to say married women cheat is a wrong and unethical statement. Well, not all married women but why some married women cheat is what we are getting at. Sometimes even women who have the picture perfect life find it difficult to resist the love seeks them out of the wedlock. knowing what makes women fall into extramarital relationships, sometimes despite living a perfectly happy married life. Here he cites few reasons:- 1.        Sheer boredom: They say variety is the spice of life for a reason...
Read more

THE FAST CHRISTIANTY BROUHAHA

Fast Christianity like fast food has its advantages and disadvantages or pros and cons. Originally, the word “fast” is supposed to mean “speed” which is not a bad quality but in this context, it is bad because it is bogus. It is more or less a shortcut and of course short cut will cut you short. You cannot run faster than your legs nor can you put the cart before the horse. Slow and steady is helpful to cooking and Christianity. Usually, processes are vital to the outcome of production and processes take the time or rather processes are timed. For example, in cooking, timing is important. The difference between good and bad food is timing. If you don't time your cooking properly your food will get burnt or half-cooked. But fast food makes a mockery of all these. It is food at the speed of light. In cities and towns fast foods is becoming popular because most of its patrons have little time for homemade food. So, ""fast" is the way to go for the modern man. It saves h...
Read more

HOW TO KNOW YOUR SPOUSE IS REALLY SORRY

A repentant, regretful heart reflects a deep desire to change and accept 100-percent ownership. The occasional misstep means your spouse is moving toward genuine change — remember progress over perfection. Notice the moments you catch them “doing it right” and then, offer them encouragement. However, when blame shifts back toward you, it’s time to pray and consider if a “heart issue” is behind those actionsand words The following list are helpful tool for discerning a repentant heart:- #Repentant people are willing to confess all their sins, not just the sins that got them into trouble. A house isn’t clean until you open every closet and sweep every corner. People who desire to be clean are completely honest about their lives. No more secrets. #Repentant people face the pain their sin caused others. They invite the victims of their sin (anyone hurt by their actions) to express the intensity of emotions that they feel—anger, hurt, sorrow, and disappointment. #Repent...
Read more