Men
and women want a lot of the same things from a significant other, but there are
also some key differences between what each gender needs from their partners to
have a satisfying relationship. Gentlemen, you’ll want to pay close attention
here because the more successful you are at making your women feel loved and
appreciated, the better your chances of getting your own wants fulfilled as
well.
To
Know She’s Loved:
Everyone
wants to know they’re loved and wives are rarely tired of hearing those three
little words—”I love you”—from their husbands. But showing your spouse how you
feel can be equally important as telling her. The best ways to express how you
feel are usually in simple, seemingly unimportant acts like giving her an
unexpected hug or holding hands when you walk together.
Understanding
and Forgiveness:
There
will be days when your wife will make mistakes. No one (and that includes you
too) is perfect. She both wants and deserves your willingness to understand and
forgive her. Remember that no relationship, and especially marriage, can be
sustained without forgiveness.
Real
Conversation:
Don’t
let your conversations with your wife dwindle to nothing but talk about your
kids, your jobs, and the weather. If that happens, it could be a sign that your
marriage is in real trouble. There are lots more to talk about beyond the
practical and the superficial. In fact, it’s critical for couples to discuss
their feelings and emotions on a regular basis. These deep and real
conversations are the “glue” that will hold you together and create the intimacy
married people desire.
Quality
Time With Her (and Your Children):
Having
quality time with your wife and kids isn’t something that just happens. You have
to make these moments of connection happen by both arranging for them and then
following through. Spending time with those you love has to be a high priority
for you. It’s also important to remember that the woman you married is your
wife, not just the mother of your children. Never stop making an effort to
romance and date her. After all, that’s how the two of you grew close in the
first place. Common activities lead to shared feelings and help strengthen your
bond.
To
Hear “Yes” More Than “No”:
Whether
it’s having her decorating ideas dismissed or hearing the dreaded “not
tonight,” no wife likes being turned down. Occasional rejections are one thing
though; habitual negative responses to her and your kids are another story—and
not one that often ends well. Constantly hearing “no” can wear women down and
cause resentment that pushes them away from you. That’s not to say you should
become a pushover and just say yes. But try thinking twice before automatically
saying “no” and you might be pleasantly surprised at how it can improve your
relationships. Research shows that the more you respond to requests in a
positive way, the happier and more satisfying your relationship will be.
Better
Listening Skills:
It’s
really disheartening for a wife to share her thoughts and feelings with her man
and then realize he didn't actually listen to her. Your wife wants you to not
only listen with your ears but to listen with your heart. Besides hearing the
words she speaks, it’s important to be open to what your partner has to say,
even if you don’t agree with it. According to research, men who respect their
wives’ opinions have much happier marriages. And, guess what: Often times their
wives will be right!
Affection
and Kindness:
How
often do you say “please” or “thank you” or give your spouse an unexpected
kiss? Unfortunately, some married couples forget that being kind to and
affectionate with one another are keys to a successful marriage—they help feed
the relationship and keep it strong. Think about when you were boyfriend and
girlfriend: These were behaviors you probably did regularly and spontaneously.
There’s no reason they should stop when you’re married. In fact, they may be
even more important once you tie the knot, since research shows that the frequency
with which you and your partner express and receive affection is directly
related to your commitment and satisfaction.
Shared
Household and Child-Rearing Responsibilities:
One
of the main reasons couples fight is conflict over who’s doing what around the
house. Chores and child care are not the sole responsibility of women. She shouldn't have to ask you to do your share around the house. You will be a hero
in her eyes if you readily help when asked or—even better—take care of some
chores before she asks. Bonus: You may benefit in the bedroom, too, since
studies show women feel more sexually attracted to partners who pitch in.
A
Day Off Now and Then:
Don’t
fuss about your wife taking a day off a couple of times a month. This means
she’ll be free from worrying about what’s happening with the kids, the house,
the pets, and you. She deserves this break in her schedule and she needs to
provide it for herself in order to be emotionally and physically healthy.