Most problems in marriage start with the molding of a person’s character. What
they see and hear and the environment they grow up in has a lot to do with who
they eventually become. Marriages are crashing daily because of what this
generation is exposed to from a very tender age. The traditional marriage
setting like we know and grew up in has become folklore. Men are challenging
the women in the area of housekeeping and minding the children, the women are
taking over the role of breadwinners and doing it exceptionally well. The usual
family structure has been replaced with a system of survival of the fittest.
The power struggle in the family usually starts immediately after “I do” and
goes on until the couple either learns to accommodate each other or become
consumed by the struggle for gender supremacy.
Men have come to
represent a ticket to the good life, they are evaluated by how much they can
provide, divided sharply by those who are overly generous and the stingy ones,
the haves and have notes. The former in both instances receives more attention
from the women regardless of the sometimes very obvious and glaring character
flaws. I remember a couple of decades ago when parents refused multimillionaires
seeking their daughters hand in marriage on grounds of unsavory behavior and
unverifiable sources of income, they often opted for the more stable, well
behaved average man from a well-known background. Those days the inquiries
in-laws make concerning their daughters’ suitors bothered on behavior and
family background rather than how much money the man is worth, women are
encouraged to marry average man with whom they can build a life together. Those
days are gone, all you have to do now is make some money and you can get away
with almost anything in marriage.
In this new order,
woman are viewed primarily as sex and entertainment objects, designed to
fulfilled the craziest fantasies of men who can afford them; intellect and
manners have been sacrificed at the altar of vanity, waywardness and moral
bankruptcy. Women are wearing less and just as the clothes are being shed,
intellect, responsibility and good manners have disappeared with it. The due
diligence men used to perform before marriage no longer exists; they are more
concerned these days with her outward appearance and psychedelic lifestyle, her
following on social media and her social circle. Marriages have become more
about the social media hype than what the ceremony actually stands for. Too much
emphasis is placed on the wedding ceremony leaving the marriage itself with
little or no attention. Once the fanfare of the wedding begins to wane, so does
the couples unpreparedness and commitment to the union, boredom sets in and the
couple strays in different directions in search of more money or more entertainment
as the case may be.
Marriage is a lifelong
commitment and requires a lot of planning before one embarks on the journey, it
is not a temporary relieve for lack of money or sexual urge. There are so many
considerations which must be carefully examined before one finally settles for
a life partner. Can you still love and respect the man without the wealth or
power he currently possesses, will you be proud to show him off without the
designer clothes, shoes and watches, does he make you happy, does he make you
laugh, is he there when you need him? Does he accept you with your flaws and
will he let you thrive and grow without feeling threatened. Do you love and
cherish her; will you still love and cherish her when the rigors of childbirth
and age take its toll on her? Do you feel responsible for her, can you talk to
her about almost anything, can you do without trying to change her by force, do
you feel comfortable and relaxed in her company, and do you laugh and play
together? These are just a few of the many things to consider in choosing a
partner. Money and power are transient and can disappear anytime, beauty and a
sexy figure will fade with time, what remains when these are gone is the real consideration.
Choose wisely.